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Our help needed once again...

Before Christmas Match of the Day 2 came calling, and this brought some extra publicity for Vital Pompey, but more importantly enabled some of our members to get on the box for their feature on Pompey - and as we know the fellas all did very well.

I have now been contacted by a fella called Chris Parker who is writing a book, due for release in time for Christmas 2008 about 'football's funniest songs and chats'.

I was asked by Chris if I could help him with anything, so I told him that rather than helping him myself I would open up the floor to us all and see what we could come up with - as I have no doubt we will have plenty to say, and plenty of it will be more than adequate to help him out.

This is what Chris said in his email...


I hope you don't mind me contacting you out of the blue; I'm e-mailing to ask for your help with a book I'm writing on football's funniest songs and chants.

The book will be published by New Holland Publishers in time for Christmas 2008 and will be a collection of the wittiest songs and chants sung by fans from the English and Scottish leagues. As part of the research for the book I'm contacting unofficial fan clubs as I know they'll be the best source of their team's chants and I'm keen for as many teams as possible to be represented in the book.

The Fratton Park faithful are well known for their singing and so I'd really appreciate it if you could take time to e-mail me with the funniest songs and chants you and your fellow Pompey supporters sing.

I've included a couple of examples below to give you an idea of the book's contents. As you can see, I'm not really after your basic "We're by far the greatest team" type chants but the ones that really make you chuckle. And as well as regular songs and chants sung at every game I'm also keen to include those spontaneous ones that just come up during a game - for example in response to the opposition, a refereeing decision, a player or something in the news at the time.

If you are able to help then any background info to the songs and the tune that the song is sung to would also be great And if you've heard other fans singing tunes that you've admired then please do let me know. All contributors to the book will of course be acknowledged in the book and any contribution would be greatly welcomed!

I hope that's all clear but any questions, please do let me know.

Thanks and best wishes,

A few examples from the book:

No song about Gary Neville would be complete without reference to his imaginatively named father... (to the tune of Rebel Rebel)
Neville Neville, you play in defence,
Neville Neville, your play is immense,
Neville Neville, like Jacko you're bad,
Neville Neville is the name of your dad.

West Bromwich Albion fans nobly resist the obvious... (to the tune of When The Saints Go Marching In)
Oh Andy Hunt, is good up front,
Oh Andy Hunt is good up front,
He's got a name that rhymes with fanny,
Oh Andy Hunt is good up front!

Chelsea adapt a classic terrace chant especially for the visiting fans from the Turkish club Galatasaray... (to the tune of Go West)
You're Shish, and you know you are,
You're Shish, and you know you are.

Up until Wednesday or Thursday this article will be held at the top of the tree, then I will report back to him with the findings, so if you have anything that you think fits the bill place it below and/or drop me an email - just click the link. Just think you could be part of a book that could become a huge favourite in the years to come?

Due to the filter on this website some words might be unacceptable, so after you have posted if you notice a lot has been filtered out just drop me a quick email - see above - with your song in it so it clarifies what it says.

Well fellas, fire away this should be fun...


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The Journalist

Writer: pompeyrug Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday January 6 2008

Time: 12:55PM

Your Comments

i still love the one that we sang to graham poll last season when he played his part in ruling out our goal that would have beaten arsenal on the final day and seen us into europe... 'oh graham poll, you're a ******** asshole, you're a ******** asshole, you're a ******** asshole... oh graham poll, you're a ******** asshole, you're a ******** asshole, you're a ******** asshole'... this however, will be majorly filtered out here and may be unacceptable for the book?
i apologise if anyone is offended by the word that wasnt filtered out...
snap! we got one off them as well!
And so did almost everyone else! :)
but are we using them fellas? im happy to and hope people put forward their ideas... i bet that you havent all been approached by match of the day tho ;-)
haha the graham poll one, that was a goal by niko!
great idea by this chris parker guy, i bet loads of people could just make up stuff.
im sure we have a few about joey barton, or ben thatcher
anddddd andy doesnt rhyme with fanny. oh wait hunt
sorry i know im posting alot, but what about "wheres ur fat scouser gone?" to man u, second game of this season. we had nugent, they didnt have rooney
"we want 8" to the reading fans in the first minute of the away game. or "4 goals, and u still dont win"
I think the one we sang about Djibril Cisse is the funniest one I've possibly ever heard.
didnt hear that one. remind me/us please!
If you look at the Portsmouth Posts in the threads I have revived the Old chants/songs thread that was running a couple of months ago. - lots in there including the Cisse song.
When we played Brighton at FP during our promotion season 2002/03. We sang to them; 'Does your boyfriend know you're her'.
nice one. and cheers dave, il check it out
rugs one was the best i hear for being spontenus - although it was made all the better byu the childish giggle that always followed it!
i reckon the one to is this the way to amarillo shalalalalalalalal shalalalalalalalal shalalalalalalalal were gonna send the scummers down 4-1 up gotta be the best chant feeling in the world for any pompey fan especially as i live over the red boarder unfortunately
off topic i know, but i just wanted to give you a quick welcome to vital pompey pompeyboy - good to see another new face... keep coming back and having your say :-)
"i bet that you havent all been approached by match of the day tho." Technically, it was Match of The Day 2. ;)
on the match of the day 2 thing, did they, or anyone else mention vitalpompey?
pompeyrug i was here at the founding of this site due to many complications i havnt had much time to be on here but have abit of free time now but thanks anyway nice ot see there si still so many people on here
sorry mate, my bad... was it the email about the pompey 11 that helped encourage you back today?
nope carpet vital pompey wasnt mentioned on the box - maybe someone did in what they said, but if so it was cut, which didnt/doesnt surprise me...
yea lol didnt need ancouragin just forgot bout this great site
ah well...i guess that they probably have too...
that right carpet, we'll have to true and get a crafty plug on a live game or something :-) yep that right pompeyboy, it is a great site isnt it... im not being big headed - as ask anyone i always say its a team effort, its not because of me - but since i have taken over i think its got much, much better...
maybe nxt time, everyone should go in there VITAL POMPEY T-shirts...or is that getting a bit too far ahead?
Cisse "bird ***** on his head"?
this will not to everyone's liking, but when i was at villa park seeing us spank villa 3-1 - as i took this in the light it was meant on the whole - i have to admit that i laughed at what the villa fans were singing to 'arry... 'you're getting *****ed in the showers, *****ed in the showers, you're getting *****ed in the showers' again probably not acceptable tho?
haha im sure the villa fans will want to put it in. and how gutted were u at match of the day for not mentioning vp rug?
not gutted at all mate tbh as i never expected them to for one minute - i was truly gutted that i had to miss out being on motd2 tho! but the fellas that were on did a fantastic job, probably much better than i could of anyway tbh...
im sure there was always space for one more rug, and its a shame that u missed it. if u lot used the chix's script, that would have been amazing!
once again. i have no idea what your talking about...
come on fellas, you must have some songs you could put forward...
he's here he's there he's every f***ing where Vince Hilaire Vince Hilaire
The Rabbi
I remember (and it isn't big or clever) Pompey fans singing 'Do you take it up the ar*e' at brighton fans in the 80's.
The Rabbi
dont go to/havnt been to na game recently...sorry to be completly useless - but its just too expensive!!! (i tried and failed to get tickets for the reading game...)
carpet maybe later this season, or next season i'll treat you mate - how about that?
So that's what the Villa fans were singing to Arry!
i dont think that is what 'arry took offence to tho tbh, it is was then im sorry but he was wrong to lose it over that - that was coming from the whole of one end abd was purely in jest, typical football banter...
dont worry about it rug - its lack of time too - and i dont think you go too many either anyway (and besides, everyone else would want to go too)...but thanks very much for the offer!!!
and i think that harry took offence to things the vila fans were shouting from behind the dugout - therefore things only he would probably have been able to hear,as tv cameras wouldnt pick it up - but aremuch more personal than a chant from the whole crowd, which can be taken in a much more light hearted manor...
agree, that is what i think about the arry situation mate... well im getting my season ticket back next season, 7 hours round trips will be worth it... and that will be via car, trains will probably be at least 5 hours each way, but what they hell eh! well mate, the offer is there if you are able to find the time at some point...
44 posts and only a handful of songs fellas.. pretty poor show fellas - I've got about 10 - 15 up my sleeve that I'll post in the forum later tonight (it's easier to space out your lines in there)
anyone know any that rhyme with Danijel Subotic? looks like we could be needing one...
Ok fellas... There's about 20 songs in the 'Old Song/Chants' forum.. to give you a taster I'll paste just one below
There's is a team in Hampshire, Called Southampton F C They're managed by a winker, Called Lawrie Mcmenemy, He brought then down to Fratton Park for all of us to see And when they passed the Fratton End, this is what we sing, Ohhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa Ohhhhh ho ho ho ho ho hooooo Ha ha ha ha ha ha (you get the rest..)
i look forward to seeing these others in the forum mate.

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