Vital Football

Premiership Betting

Premiership Betting


Gerry McDonnell embraces his feminine side in the always controversial weekend Premiership preview

I pity the Newell


It`s easy to say the wrong thing. When the wife told me she`d received a fine for not wearing a seatbelt, I probably shouldn`t have responded with; "Why`s that then? Wouldn`t it fit?"

Mike Newell is in a similar boat. His controversial views on female officials have landed him in a spot of bother; but in my opinion, there could well be a nail with a pounding headache. It`s unfair to ask a woman to make crucial decisions less than 24 hours after an episode of Emmerdale.

All joking aside, Amy Rayner is more than capable. If I had to mark her performance using the binary scale, I`d give her '1`.

Is it a coincidence that Spurs are wearing a chocolate coloured kit now that women are running the line? (A lady will be less inclined to flag for offside if they`re contemplating a large dairy milk.) If you`re not cynical about the situation, you probably haven`t thought it through. There`s no need to ponder for too long on the outcome of the Blackburn v Tottenham match. Be a smarty; eat up the 8/5 about a home win.

Alan Pardew and Jose Mourinho are the undisputed kings of the goal celebration. Let`s hope there`s not a lady lino on duty when Chelsea face West Ham, or it could turn into a scene from 'Saturday Night Fever`. The champions have too much for the Hammers; their title hopes will be stayin` alive at 1/4.

Jose Mourinho has had a pop at the Chelsea fans, he`s accused them of being quieter than El Hadji Diouf`s wife. Chelsea supporters will have plenty to sing about if they cover the 2-0/3-0 correct scores at 5/2.

The word on the street is that Frank Lampard is to be offered a new deal worth £130,000 a week; that buys a whole lot of chicken wings. The Lamp has found the net in three of his last five games; he`s worth a nibble at 13/8 to score against his former employers.

It`s fair to say that Iain Dowie made an absolute 'Desert Orchid` of the Charlton job; sorry, I meant 'dog`s dinner`. Charlton are bottom of the table and haven`t won in Reading for 25 years, the Royals should be backed at a majestic even money.

Finding Michael Jackson babysitting work is tough, finding Mike Newell a job at the equal opportunities commission is even tougher, but finding a winner in the Everton v Bolton match is proving nigh impossible. I can`t see past the draw at 9/4.

Sir Alex was far from happy when news broke that Keith Hackett had arranged a meeting with Jose Mourinho. Fergie`s voice reached such a high pitch, Mike Newell wanted him removed from the touchline. United have won on their last three visits to Bramall Lane without conceding a goal, I fancy a repeat at 11/10.

Gareth Southgate has led Boro up to 13th place in the Premiership, which makes him over-qualified for the position of England manager. Liverpool have won only two of their last eight league match-ups with Middlesbrough, and both of those were at Anfield. The Boro look a corking investment at 12/5 to triumph at the Riverside.

With the managerial merry-go-round now under way, Stuart Pearce must be sweating like Mike Newell at a feminist convention. Fulham must be backed at 12/5 to see off Man City.

The wife hates it when i make patronizing comments; the poor little lamb gets ever so upset. You`ll be screaming if you miss Aston Villa at 2/1 away to Wigan.

Let me just clarify, I am not a sexist; I enjoy conversations about cushions. Everybody`s talking about the 4/6 on offer for Pompey at home to Watford; it`s as tasty as a chicken tikka masala.

I had a lovely Indian on Wednesday night to celebrate England`s draw in Holland; her name was Sanjita. There was an immediate chemistry between us; Rohypnol. I`m loving Arsenal at 1/3 at home to Newcastle.

The argument for this week`s accer is so convincing, Mike Newell is reconsidering his hard-line stance on women`s rights. Arsenal, Chelsea, Portsmouth, Reading and an Everton draw are the five selections; you have the right to collect at a bra-burning 15/1.


Weekend Betting:

Man City v Fulham
Saturday 18th November 12:45
Live on Premiership Plus

Man City 6/5
Draw 9/4
Fulham 12/5

Get on: Fulham

Match Special:
Papa Bouba Diop to score with a header 9/1

Arsenal v Newcastle Saturday 18th November 15:00

Arsenal 1/3
Draw 4/1
Newcastle 10/1

Get on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Henry to score two or more goals 11/4

Chelsea v West Ham Saturday 18th November 15:00

Chelsea 1/4
Draw 9/2
West Ham 14/1

Get on: Chelsea

Match Special:
Frank Lampard to score from outside the penalty area 10/3

Everton v Bolton
Saturday 18th November 15:00

Everton 13/10
Draw 9/4
Bolton 2/1

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
No goalscorer in the game 8/1

Portsmouth v Watford
Saturday 18th November 15:00

Portsmouth 4/6
Draw 5/2
Watford 9/2

Get on: Portsmouth

Match Special:
Pedro Mendes to score at any time 5/1

Reading v Charlton Saturday 18th November 15:00

Reading Evs
Draw 9/4
Charlton 3/1

Get on: Reading

Match Special:
Reading to win and keep a clean sheet 2/1

Sheff Utd v Man Utd Saturday 18th November 15:00

Sheff Utd 8/1
Draw 7/2
Man Utd 4/11

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special:
Saha to score two or more goals 3/1

Middlesbrough v Liverpool Saturday 18th November 17:15
Live on Premiership Plus

Middlesbrough 12/5
Draw 9/4
Liverpool 6/5

Get on: Middlesbrough

Match Special:
Middlesbrough to win 1-0 8/1

Wigan v Aston Villa
Sunday 19th November 13:30
Live on Sky

Wigan 6/4
Draw 9/4
Aston Villa 2/1

Get on: Aston Villa

Match Special:
Chris Sutton to score the first goal 8/1

Blackburn v Tottenham
Sunday 19th November 16:00
Live on Sky

Blackburn 8/5
Draw 9/4
Tottenham 2/1

Get on: Blackburn

Match Special:
McCarthy to score the only goal of the game 33/1

By Gerry McDonnell


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:
Date:Saturday November 18 2006
Time: 9:42AM

Comments

0
Not a great return but think Mendes to score is worth a punt can see him having several chances from range today...
pompeyrug
18/11/2006 09:52:00
0
Expect the scoucers to beat Boro. Newcastle to get heavily stuffed. Pompey win. Couldn't care to much about the others.
storagematt
18/11/2006 11:33:00
0
Well I got one right & only just & the important one. More bad tips next week.
storagematt
18/11/2006 20:43:00
0
Yeah the Arse let me down on an 5 game accumulator - not happy Jan. Still Pompeys 3 points was the important thing.
pompeygray
18/11/2006 22:05:00
0
a great article..witty and funny and informative....
ernshaw
19/11/2006 00:01:00
0
When the wife complained about a speeding fine I prolly shouldn't have responded with 'I didn't know you could see over the dashboard'.
Lysimachus
19/11/2006 18:05:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Portsmouth Articles

On this day in history...29th August

A look back at this day in history, and what was happening with Pompey courtesy of our sister site PompeyRama, 29th August.

2016/17 Transfer Deadline - A Few Days Remain

Well it's almost that time of the year again, only a final few days to go before the closure of the summer transfer window for 2016/17, and with the international break...

Audio - Leam & Davies Talk Exeter

Assistant manager Leam Richardson and defender Tom Davies have been speaking following the victory over Exeter City yesterday.

Match highlights - Exeter 0-1 Pompey

Pompey secured a win over Exeter in league two on Saturday.

Archived Vital Pompey Articles

Vital Pompey articles from

Site Journalists

pompeyrug
Editor email
Profile
eastneydave
Editor email
Profile
paultsmouth
no email
Profile
Chix
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Exeter MotM
Suggested By: Site Staff
Forde45%
Talbot0%
Burgess20%
Davies15%
Stevens5%
Doyle5%
Rose10%
Baker0%
Roberts0%
Lalkovic0%
Main0%
Sub - Chaplin0%
Sub - Naismith0%
Sub - Hunt0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Morecambe 5 4 0 1 12 3
2 Luton 5 3 1 1 10 6
3 Doncaster 5 3 1 1 10 4
4 Colchester 5 3 1 1 10 3
5 Mansfield 5 3 1 1 10 1
6 Carlisle 5 2 3 0 9 2
7 Plymouth 5 3 0 2 9 0
8 Portsmouth 5 2 2 1 8 1
9 Crawley 5 2 2 1 8 0
10 Leyton Orient 5 2 1 2 7 2
11 Notts County 5 2 1 2 7 0
12 Grimsby 5 2 0 3 6 2
13 Barnet 5 1 3 1 6 1
14 Cheltenham 5 1 3 1 6 1
15 Hartlepool 5 1 3 1 6 0
16 Crewe 5 1 3 1 6 -1
17 Blackpool 5 1 2 2 5 0
18 Newport 5 1 2 2 5 -1
19 Wycombe 5 1 2 2 5 -2
20 Accrington 5 1 1 3 4 -3
21 Yeovil 5 1 1 3 4 -3
22 Stevenage 5 1 1 3 4 -6
23 Exeter 5 1 0 4 3 -4
24 Cambridge 5 0 2 3 2 -6
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Portsmouth Results (view all)

Portsmouth Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.pompeyrug144
2.PompeyFrippy35
3.storagematt33
4.FrattonBlue31
5.Copnor4325
6.eastneydave21
7.mslorna4818
8.uspompeyfan15
9.Dentoblue12
10.Jimsmithswig9