Yep, like that will happen!

My, my, it would appear that The Sunday Mirror has had to scrape the bottom of the barrel this morning as they are running a ridiculous article that claims 'Liverpool will attempt a shock move to re-sign striker Peter Crouch from Portsmouth.'

Ok, lets just humour them for a little longer...

'Liverpool have a distinct advantage because Pompey still owe them half of the original £8m transfer fee, which is due to be paid over the next 18 months.'

There seems to be a suggestion that our agreement of spreading the payment for him over a couple of years, or more, is anything other than the norm - is this not what all clubs do? They agree a fee, usually pay so much up front then the rest in monthly instalments or whatever spread over years sometimes, I do not think this way is right, but most, if not all clubs do this!

The funniest part of all is the 'claims' that a fee as little as £4m could be paid, as if it is ok for them to dictate that we have to let him go for what we paid! Although an £8m fee is still probably below what was thought to have been paid for the England man anyway?

Putting aside all of the rubbish already suggested, I think what The Sunday Mirror seems to be forgetting is, and I would think this is a 'major detail' overlooked Crouch left Liverpool because he wanted regular 1st team football! So why the hell would he return to play for fat Rafa and be left kicking his heels again!

Of course most papers do not deal in basic common sense do they...

They do finish by saying Pompey have 'now slapped a £10m premium on his head, valuing him at about £18m' so if we do sell, which we should not need to, nor does he seem that interested in actually leaving anyway, we would sell for much more than a measly £4m to the hard up bin dippers, we would sell to one of Blackburn, Sunderland, Villa, Citeh or Spurs!

PLAY UP POMPEY!

For the very latest Premier League odds

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.