Writer: Chix 
Date:Wednesday January 28 2009
Time: 9:06PM
Transfer Window Entertainment Programme - Take 5
The latest reports from the media have us in turmoil - All is not healthy in Transfer Land.
We are hope that potential Pompey players are being assessed around the clock and that at least 'some' are queuing up, pen poised ready to sign on the dotted line.
However, Dr Chixy's trip around the wards of Transfer General Hospital tells quite a different 'Storrie'
This is what he found.
Confirmed Dead
Edu (Valencia)
Gary O'Neil (Middlesbrough)
Nathan Dyer (Swansea)
Edin Dzeko (Wolfsburg)
Marvin Elliot (Bristol City)
Patrick Vieira (Inter Milan)
Scott McDonald (Celtic)
Sidney Govou (Lyon)
Tranquillo Barnetta (Bayer Leverkusen)
Andrew Surman (Southampton)
Discharged
Jimmy Bullard (Fulham)
Gone Missing
Mirel Radoi (Steaua Bucharest)
Aruna Dindane (Lens)
Royston Drenthe (Real Madrid)
Christian Poulsen (Juventus)
Christian Obodo (Udinese)
Luis Garcia (Athletico Madrid)
Kris Boyd (Rangers)
Andy Driver (Hearts)
Modeste M'Bami (Olympique Marseille)
Roy Beerens (Heerenveen)
Critical
Javier Saviola (Real Madrid)
Emerson (AC Milan)
Sunny (Valencia)
In a Coma
Joey Barton (Newcastle United)
Manuel Fernandes (Valencia)
Michael Johnson (Manchester City)
Benjani (Manchester City)
Leroy Lita (Reading)
Stephen Hunt (Reading)
Fabian Delph (Leeds)
Transferred to Mental Wing
Szabolcs Huszti (Hannover)
Robbie Earnshaw (Nottm. Forest)
Stephen Appiah (Unattached)
Referred for Psychiatric Tests
Marco Materazzi (Inter Milan)
Referred to Dietician
Edmilson (Villarreal)
Awaiting Initial Assessment
Marlon Harewood (Aston Villa)
Olivier Dacourt (Inter)
Peguy Luyindula (PSV)
Afella Netherheardov (NE Wear)
Annun Nounforward (Sumplacein Africa)
Potential Out-Patients
Yohann Pele (Le Mans)
Amdy Faye AKA Andy Henry (Stoke)
Confirmed Out-Patients
Hayden Mullins (West Ham)
Jermaine Pennant (Liverpool)
Pele (Porto)
So there you have it, Dr. Chixy's assessment on the health of Potential Pompey Prospects
Would you like to offer a second opinion ?
Place your thoughts below.
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No not a lot - I was actually looking forward to this week but the Saviola interest fell away last night and the Sunny deal seems to have collapsed. So all we are really left with is a goalie called Pele and Amdy Faye
I haven't ! Have a butchers under Awaiting Initial Assessment
The Andy Henry link is a bit worrying for me too .. It's not the same but similar.. Merson made a point about Richard Hughes new contract the other day and questioned why we are offering a player who couldn't hold down a regular place six years ago a 30 month contract.. Same could be said for Faye I know we don't have much money and that's fair enough but surely Andy Henry is a backward move
Great stuff as always but I have never heard of this bloke Afella Netherheardov. Looked on Wikipedia for Annun Nounforward and it said 'unknown'!! I think you might just be making this all up!!
A new category I might just introduce for tomorrows article -I just hope you are not referring to any of those in the Confirmed Out-Patients list !
I share a fair few of your thoughts but I don't reckon/pray that you won't lose your £150 quid - Neck on the line.. We'll sneak a 1-0 win against Fulham
Thanks as always for the encouragement, bit me make something up ... surely not.. Oh forgot to mention I saw Fernando Torres outside Fratton Park last night .. apparently the deal was done until he demanded the no9 shirt but Crouchy woudn't give it up
Not sure we are the worse team in the premiership .. although our reslts do not lie. I do however agree that the likes of Edu & GON seem a million miles away now. I'm still holding out hope though... Praying for that player who can provide that Mendes Moment
Happy to be of service my friend. Edmilson made me smile too. The best one though I couldn't use .. I originally had Jermaine Pennent down as Awaiting De-Tagging but then the bugger signed..
I'm as fast as a cross between Mick Quinn & Kanu today. I apologise. Harewood however has proved useful from the bench for Villa - Who knows he could sit alongside Nugent & Utaka & Kanu and another other forwards we have hanging around that struggle to perform for 90 minutes..
You make an excellent point. We are all too quick to have a dig at Admas and Storrie for 'spraking too much' yet as you say not one of us predicted any of the three signings we've made so far this window. I think the last two players on the Awaiting Initial Assessment list are the most likely to come in during what is left of this window and as Penton says if that happens then Tony has indeed excelled.
WAKE UP my friend you are having a terrible nightmare. You've found yourself in the set of Dad's Army!
Yeah Tony's list of 150 would be a sight wouldn't but in fairness if we were to compile a list and then apply the financial constraints he has how many 'superstars' do you think we could come up with?.. We'd then have to assume that other clubs are in for the same players too - In all honesty I'm not sure our list would contain many if any players that as a fan we'd be 100% happy with - It's just the situation we as a club find ourselves in - What can we or indeed he really do?
You can call for Adams departure as loud and as often as you like and some would agree and others not, but the fact remains that for whatever reasons we are where we are and so if YOU were the manager - Who would you buy ?
I don't want to drag the thread away from Transfers too much.. but I do take your point. But let's face it we do have Peter Storrie and we do have Tony Adams and like it or not I can't see either changing between now and May. The point is however that even if Adams leaves today we still have the same players as we had yesterday so regardless of manager or formation they are either good enough to keep us up or not ... and if not we need to add to them within the next couple of days..
A great shout and what I'd give to have SuperMatt back at Fratton. To me Mendes wasn't the player some seem to think he was and GON isn't/wasn't the centre midfield maestro some seen to think he was either. Neither scored goals come to that apart from the occassional one or two.. Whereas with Matty Taylor you always felt he could pull one out of thin air..
Nobody got stolen, we just appear to very bad at negotiating! As for not being a big club this season .. We are the same size as we were last .. nothing has actually changed status wise .. although we have changed manager and have less money.. The same as a few clubs .. Are Blackburn or Chelsea smaller clubs too - They have similar situations to us ?. I would accept however that we appear less attractive .. I'll let you have that one ;)
How can I respond to that little lot .. ah well let me have a go!
Plymouth Graham Fantastic account of the Matt Taylor interview - You should write for Vital Pompey ;) Penton & Paultsmouth I'd have Matt back like a shot even if it meant, and it probably would, Carpet not playing Belhadj. Blarmy I'll come to you at the end. Gino How many professions do I have? Only three I take seriously Husband (to a beautiful wife), Daddy (to two wonderful girls) and Fanatical Supporter of the best team in the world.Tim Not heard a peep about Alan Smith - Have you heard anymore? Gandor, Pompeym@ & Blarmy re Saviola I think Tony is looking at immediate performances and won't risk an unfit player wasting his time. Nodster Blood sweat and tears indeed.. but hopefully not too many tears !! Bowlsey I'll come back to you along withBlarmy The Landord Rug as ever the voice of reason and you are right Vital is second to none .. thanks to the effort you put in to keep it up and running All (he really hates me saying that!! (lol) .. but it's true! Pessimist You are a diamond mate very level headed even when things ain't going the way they should - I wish there were more like you Saviolafan Well if the reports are correct he isn't coming so I guess we won't see you anymore.. unless on Vital Wigan... as for Pompey being a joke around europeans I'm flattered they know we exist - Shows how far we have come ... Laugh away !HSB I'd take 16th this an any season - 38 points is all I ever need anything more is a real bounes.. The Lovely Squee (excuse me fellas while I flirt) You can make an appointment anytime you want - But I don't do depression !StuM God if your toon friend was depressed before Barton and Owen got injured .. what's he like now ! Plymouth Graham Fabian Delph ... wait for it £2.5million - That is all Seriously... Right now that is done I'm going adress Bowlsey and Blarmy
Bowlsey and Blarmy
Little do you two know that this afternoon when I read your comments they nearly brought a lump to my throat for the pair of you to stand up for what we are and who we are made me really proud to be a Pompey fan. It is all too easy to sit and moan and think about where we were last year but we ARE Pompey and although at times it's hard not to get bogged down in day to day issues we muat ALL remember that actually we are doing ok .. This article 'click here' is dedicated to the pair of you - Do not go anywhere Pompey and Vital Pompey need you !
I've not heard any rumours about Alan Smith or Kevin Nolan but I reckon both could do a job. Especially Smith a player I rated really highly during his Leeds days - It was only when Ferguson tried to turn him into a midfielder that he went off the boil - I definately think he is worth a punt.
As for Vela & Merida I can't see either of them coming Arsenal woiuldn't sell two shinning stars and we are already at our domestic loan limit - So can't see anything happening on that front.