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Countdown: 116 Hours - What a Carry On!

Countdown: 116 Hours - What a Carry On!

Transfer Window Entertainment Programme - Take 5

The latest reports from the media have us in turmoil - All is not healthy in Transfer Land.

We are hope that potential Pompey players are being assessed around the clock and that at least 'some' are queuing up, pen poised ready to sign on the dotted line.

However, Dr Chixy's trip around the wards of Transfer General Hospital tells quite a different 'Storrie'

This is what he found.

Confirmed Dead
Edu (Valencia)
Gary O'Neil (Middlesbrough)
Nathan Dyer (Swansea)
Edin Dzeko (Wolfsburg)
Marvin Elliot (Bristol City)
Patrick Vieira (Inter Milan)
Scott McDonald (Celtic)
Sidney Govou (Lyon)
Tranquillo Barnetta (Bayer Leverkusen)
Andrew Surman (Southampton)

Discharged
Jimmy Bullard (Fulham)

Gone Missing
Mirel Radoi (Steaua Bucharest)
Aruna Dindane (Lens)
Royston Drenthe (Real Madrid)
Christian Poulsen (Juventus)
Christian Obodo (Udinese)
Luis Garcia (Athletico Madrid)
Kris Boyd (Rangers)
Andy Driver (Hearts)
Modeste M'Bami (Olympique Marseille)
Roy Beerens (Heerenveen)

Critical
Javier Saviola (Real Madrid)
Emerson (AC Milan)
Sunny (Valencia)

In a Coma
Joey Barton (Newcastle United)
Manuel Fernandes (Valencia)
Michael Johnson (Manchester City)
Benjani (Manchester City)
Leroy Lita (Reading)
Stephen Hunt (Reading)
Fabian Delph (Leeds)

Transferred to Mental Wing
Szabolcs Huszti (Hannover)
Robbie Earnshaw (Nottm. Forest)
Stephen Appiah (Unattached)

Referred for Psychiatric Tests
Marco Materazzi (Inter Milan)

Referred to Dietician
Edmilson (Villarreal)

Awaiting Initial Assessment
Marlon Harewood (Aston Villa)
Olivier Dacourt (Inter)
Peguy Luyindula (PSV)
Afella Netherheardov (NE Wear)
Annun Nounforward (Sumplacein Africa)

Potential Out-Patients
Yohann Pele (Le Mans)
Amdy Faye AKA Andy Henry (Stoke)

Confirmed Out-Patients
Hayden Mullins (West Ham)
Jermaine Pennant (Liverpool)
Pele (Porto)


So there you have it, Dr. Chixy's assessment on the health of Potential Pompey Prospects

Would you like to offer a second opinion ?

Place your thoughts below.
Join the Vital Pompey Debate



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Chix
Date:Wednesday January 28 2009
Time: 9:06PM

Comments

0
Not much to get excited about is it? hr always pulled a beauty out the bag in the last minutes, can Tony Adams?
paultsmouth
28/01/2009 21:15:00
0
Hi ya Paul
No not a lot - I was actually looking forward to this week but the Saviola interest fell away last night and the Sunny deal seems to have collapsed. So all we are really left with is a goalie called Pele and Amdy Faye
Chix
28/01/2009 21:23:00
0
And Marlon Harewood...Don't forget Marlon Harewood
pentonpompey
28/01/2009 21:30:00
0
If we want Faye I will really start to worry! We seem hellbent on destructive midfielders and Foreign lads with potential right now, neither will score goals and keep us safe
paultsmouth
28/01/2009 21:31:00
0
Penton
I haven't ! Have a butchers under Awaiting Initial Assessment
Chix
28/01/2009 21:37:00
0
Paul
The Andy Henry link is a bit worrying for me too .. It's not the same but similar.. Merson made a point about Richard Hughes new contract the other day and questioned why we are offering a player who couldn't hold down a regular place six years ago a 30 month contract.. Same could be said for Faye I know we don't have much money and that's fair enough but surely Andy Henry is a backward move
Chix
28/01/2009 21:42:00
0
A few players listed that should be put down for impersonating footballers.
storagematt
28/01/2009 21:54:00
0
whilst half the people in chixs top list haven't been linked with us for weeks you do get to worry that Pompey are in real trouble and we prefer to blame the rest of the pressworld.rug and I were wondering have we gone to the old ways of getting linked to a player then make a derisory bid to ensure he doesn't come, turns out we were wrong! We have gone the sick note route. I dont buy all this my team stuff from Adams thats just an attempt to buy time whilst he learns his trade. I agree with what Paultsmouth says and I suspect I won't get my English manager and 4 Pompey players in the england team dream. Plus I'm probably going to lose my £150 I put down ok us staying up. That's my weekly rant done and I will depart to put a tenner on us to win our next game, score predictions anyone?
russellm
28/01/2009 22:00:00
0
Chix
Great stuff as always but I have never heard of this bloke Afella Netherheardov. Looked on Wikipedia for Annun Nounforward and it said 'unknown'!! I think you might just be making this all up!!
eastneydave
28/01/2009 22:05:00
0
I was worried about the players we were being linked with when it was Edu & O'Neil. Now with our current crop of signings and players were linked with, I'd snap up those two in an instant. Sad and worrying times. The worst team in the Premier League at the moment and Russell kiss that tenner goodbye.
stillthewhizz
28/01/2009 22:06:00
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