Vital Football

You Are Peter Storrie

You Are Peter Storrie

Transfer Window Entertainment Programme - Take 4

You are Peter Storrie. Having promised at least 5 signings during the January transfer window, to date you have delivered just one - A loan player who didn't really want to join in the first place!

The pressure is on. You have just 14 days left to deliver against your promise and despite providing constant reassurances to your clubs supporters they are beginning to get restless, but wait…all of a sudden, things start to hot up.

How to play

Answer each of the following 10 questions to the best of your ability and note down the corresponding letter for your response.
When complete, total each letter and asses your performance against the rating guide provided. Good luck!

Bristol City Manager Gary Johnson insists he will not sell Marvin Elliott at any price, do you?

    A.Walk away from the deal disappointed
    B.Claim you never wanted him anyway
    C.Offer £15m just to call his bluff
    D.Give a wry smile and tell the press the deal is nearing completion

Joey Barton has publicly stated he would love to join Pompey, do you?
    A. Make Newcastle a £3m take-it-or-leave-it deal
    B. Sign him up at any cost - It`s not like he is a dirty player
    C. Go on record stating 'ex-cons` are not welcome at Pompey
    D. Give a wry smile and tell the press the deal is nearing completion

Michael Johnson can`t decide if he is ready to move South, do you?
    A. Convince him Pompey will finish higher than Man City next season
    B. Offer him a tour of Pompey's ground and training facilities to convince him
    C. Tell him Portsmouth is rough City and wimps are not welcome anyway
    D. Give a wry smile and tell the press the deal is nearing completion

Manchester City make ex-Pompey favourite Benjani available for £2m, do you?
    A. Drive to Manchester, deliver the cheque and return with a living legend
    B. Ring Benjani and ask him to make his own way to Fratton Park to meet you
    C. Thank City but tell them you can not afford to wait 14 games for a goal
    D. Give a wry smile and tell the press the deal is nearing completion

Steve Coppell keeps hounding you about a striking a deal for Leroy Lita, do you?
    A. Say no thanks as you smell a rat considering the small fee demanded
    B. Offer the asking price to get Coppell off your back
    C. Forget about Lita and just jump up and down chanting 7-4, 7-4, 7-4
    D. Give a wry smile and tell the press the deal is nearing completion
Robbie Earnshaw grabs a double Hat-trick as Forest beat Derby 6-0 in the 4th Round of the Cup do you?
    A. State that you knew he was quality, but he is not Pompey class
    B. Ignore what the fans think, sign him up immediately. You are in charge afterall
    C. Dismiss Derby as a poor side who will go down with The Scummers
    D. Give a wry smile and tell the press the deal is nearing completion
Leeds state they are willing to sell Fabian Delph for £1m but would prefer players of an equal value in exchange, do you?
    A. Decline the offer as you have stated that no other players will leave the club
    B. Reluctantly suggest Linvoy could be used in exchange for the talented youngster
    C. Ring Leeds to tell them Duffy, Djimi, Utaka, and Lauren are on their way
    D. Give a wry smile and tell the press the deal is nearing completion
At the age of 35 Marco Materazzi still believes he can offer Pompey three good seasons, do you?
    A. Agree that you will sign him as long as he passes a rigorous medical
    B. Laugh at the suggestion and accuse him of spoiling the World Cup Final
    C. Offer him a contract, to make Sol Campbell look fast over 10 yards
    D. Give a wry smile and tell the press the deal is nearing completion
During a press conference a reporter asks for an update on the five signings you promised, do you?
    A. State that you have many irons in the fire and still have 10 days to seal some deals
    B. Claim you were misquoted and the voice heard on the radio was not actually you
    C. Request a written transcript of the alleged statement
    D. Admit it has all been lies and that January has been one long holiday

A reporter stops you in the street and suggests you sack Tony Adams and appoint Tony Pulis do you?
    A. Pat the reporter on the back, laugh the suggestion off and walk away smiling
    B. Admit that you probably should but you have given him three more games to obtain some points
    C. Tell the reporter that you will stand by your man no matter what, even if that means relegation
    D. Give a wry smile and tell the press the deal is nearing completion

How did you score?
Assess your performance below

Mostly 'A's
You have demonstrated all the key attributes required to become Chief Executive of Portsmouth FC. Please attach your CV below


Mostly 'B's
Although it is clear you have the club at heart, it is felt that you are somewhat erratic in your decision making. It is predicted that additional personality tests will reveal your ideal occupation is that of a Referee


Mostly 'C's
Tact, diplomacy and negotiation do not appear to be you strong points. Your score indicates you maybe better suited to a career in the Police force. Alternatively apply for one of the vacant positions of 'Steward' at Fratton Park


Mostly 'D's
Welcome to Vital Pompey
Mr Storrie - Nice to have you on board!



Discuss all the latest transfer speculation with Chix 'as it happens' by leaving your comments below

Join the Vital Pompey Debate






Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Chix
Date:Wednesday January 21 2009
Time: 7:02PM

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Comments

0
Wednesday 21 January - 19:00 hrs
Well a new article to freshen things up - So far we have had over 500 comments on my Transfer Window Entertainment Articles I`d like to think we can reach well over 1000 before the window slams shut.

This article should take us up to the weekend and hopefully we will see a lot of activity If you believe what Peter & Tony say

Anyway without ado lets get things started by picking up on some comments I carried over from the previous thread


oh chix plz keep the puns coming there genius, (make me morning they do) but honestly everythings gone quiet again the only stories i've seen today is one saying we have confirmed our interest in Viera but we did that ages ago didn't we? and 1 saying we still hope to sign poulsen on loan, they sound like rehashes of old stories to me - and yea that would be some acheivement to keep it [Edited by hickin]
Chix
21/01/2009 19:05:00
0
oh mate you had me in stiches with this 1 definatly the best yet. but aparently i should join the police force =( although diplomacy was never my strong suit i didn't think it was quite that bad lol
pompeym@
21/01/2009 19:17:00
0
Genius Chix, pure genius
UKTony
21/01/2009 19:23:00
0
All
Well I've managed to somehow lose a few comments carried over from the previous article - I tried to find them but game up as they were mainly Carpet banging on about something or other.. I'll sure he'll bring his point up again .. at least once ! (Sorry Carps.. You know I really mean it)
Chix
21/01/2009 19:32:00
0
Pompeym@
Bend your knees and repeat after me... Evening All.. Alteratively you could become a 'steward' - You get to wear a brightly coloured jacket and act like the police.. only difference is everybody hates you !
Chix
21/01/2009 19:39:00
0
UKTony
As always thank you for your kind comments my friend - Where would I be without the inspiration of Mr Artois and his beautiful wife Stella..
Chix
21/01/2009 19:49:00
0
Fantastic read Chix, grinning ear to ear after reading that. I scored 'D's all the way!
tracyc
21/01/2009 20:02:00
0
Holey moley, you really got bored didnt you Chix! Mostly As, I fancy myself as Chief Executive.
jbaker
21/01/2009 20:10:00
0
ouch! only the second time I commented on that article too... anyway, back to THIS article, I was slightly scared by the heading... the first thing that came to my mind was "how did you know?!?!?"... needless to say, my responses were D,D,D,D,D,D,D,D,D,D.
pompeycarpet
21/01/2009 20:12:00
0
back on topic, and I think your questions were a little loaded :-). no, I don't rate marvin eliott, no, I don't want barton (how can you say he would be good for pompey?!), and benji I would follow normal protocol. I don;t think it's right to just walk in and march a player down to your club! your awnser A to delph doesnt even make sence (they only say they would PREFER a player of equal value... so no-one has to leave :-) ), and the final question, awnser "C" should be at the top of the list.
pompeycarpet
21/01/2009 20:17:00
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